When I Think of Child Development

-->

Adults as Guides and Facilitators

http://www.baby-pictures.org/baby-playing-piano-in-the-ph

"We should spend less time ranking children and more time helping them to identify their natural competencies and gifts and cultivate these. There are hundreds and hundreds of ways to succeed and many, many different abilities that will help you get there."

Playing kids | Stock Photo © Alena Ozerova #3098371

This quote resonates with me as a mother and a teacher, but especially as a teacher. I find that our school system fails to embrace the child as an individual and rather tries to force each child into similar shapes without regard for each child’s strengths and challenges. Most children can get through this antiquated system unscathed due to a supportive family or outside support but many children leave formal schooling feeling uninspired, tired of learning, and lacking in creativity. 

                                          Every child deserves to feel excited about learning, successful, and supported. 

Read more at http://quotes.dictionary.com/subject/child development, intellectual?page=1#JzgO7SEkozw5AZyR.99 We_should_spend_less_time_ranking_children_and. (n.d.). Columbia World of Quotations. Retrieved December 16, 2012, from Dictionary.com website: http://quotes.dictionary.com/We_should_spend_less_time_ranking_children_and

Adults as Caregivers and Nurturers

Retrieved from blackwomenshealth.com Title:CB106351

"At birth every infant has the potential to make the world more caring. Their need for a tender, nurturing mother can be met, or it can be denied. Most babies in our society fail. They do not get what they evolved to have. Is it any wonder, then, that our world is such an uncaring place?

"When we begin to face the truth about babies and what they need and are willing to provide it for them, then we will be on the road to becoming human again. We will not have to pretend to ourselves and to our children that we are a caring people. It will be obvious by the results."

James Kimmel, Ph.D.,

I found myself thinking twice about this quote because in my circle of friends and family, I feel like the vast majority of the children are having their needs met and are cared for in a kind, supportive and respectful manner. But on further reflection, I am forced to admit that most babies in our society do fail in getting THEIR needs met appropriately. Many parents might think that they are doing the best for their child when in reality, they are either continuing an inadequate cycle of parenting learned from their own parents or are faced with societal challenges that do not allow to fully meet the needs of their children.

Some of the societal pitfalls I would like to see change regard:

·       Breastfeeding: Even though I have yet to be harassed for breastfeeding publicly or in private, I know of many people who have a negative view of breastfeeding and I know women who have been harassed for breastfeeding in public.

·       Support for working moms: Many people believe that women need to choose between being mothers or having a profession. I do not believe that this ought to be the case for anyone who invested in a career and who wants to have the privilege of being a parent to a little miracle. With proper supports (such as maternal and paternal leave and child-friend work places), women and men would be able to be attentive and successful parents and professionals. 

·       Inclusion of fathers as active participants in child’s life: It takes a real man to be a kind, nurturing, and supportive father. This is a message that needs to become part of society today. It takes a support network of loving people to support mother and child. This network needs to begin with the father.

·       End to corporal punishment: Violence begets violence. And if not violence than low self-esteem (and low self-esteem has been linked to aggression.) There are more effective, respectful, and creative ways of guiding a child that does not require physical force.

·       Fostering emotional support and empathy for both genders: Both genders have emotional needs that need to be met and learning to regard the feelings of others applies to both boys and girls. Boys need to be able to express their feelings openly and have their feeling respected just as much as girls. 

A Word of Thanks

I would like to thank my Walden colleagues for their participation in this course. I have learned a lot from being a part of this blogging community as well as the EDUC community. The stories that my colleagues have shared have been very personal and educational. I have learned from the information they have researched and shared. It is inspiring to be part of a like-minded community. I hope that we can all do our part to share the ways in which we can support the healthy development of children around us. Children are priceless and they really are the future. We must raise our children the way we would want them to raise our future generations of people. If we want a peaceful society, we must start at home and within our schools, with our children. 

-->

In Remembrance

And last but not least, I would like to acknowledge the tragedy at a school in Connecticut. This tragedy has shaken educators and American society in general. It is time we take action and take care of all of our children.

Assessing the Whole Child- It’s Not All About Standardized Tests

-->

When teachers hear the word “assessment” most of us think, “Oh, no. When will we ever find the time to actually teach?”

When parents hear the word “assessment” most of us think, “Oh, no. How will my child measure up to the other kids in his/her class?

“Assessment” does not have to be the equivalent of a four-letter word.

Assessments are beneficial to teaching and learning- NOT STANDARDIZED assessments, but true assessments. Authentic assessments include a range of methods, not JUST STANDARDIZED, and serve a variety of reasons such as pre-assessments to find out what children know (Yes! Children actually come to class ALREADY knowing A LOT!), formative assessments to understand how our teaching is working and what children are learning in a unit, and summative assessments to see what children have learned and how they can apply their learning.

American education today is still stuck in the early 1900’s. Anyone who spends time with children-caring for them, teaching them, observing them- knows that children come in all shapes and sizes, with their own unique strengths and challenges, senses of humor, likes and dislikes, etc. They are UNIQUE. There is not a STANDARD CHILD. Why should we measure children who are UNIQUE against STANDARDIZED tests? It should be a crime but sadly it is a reality. France is one of the countries that is rethinking assessment to meet the needs of the growing immigrant population.

Educational Assessment in Germany

According to Rotberg (2006), Germany has a very distinct educational system. It is highly stratified and arbitrary based strongly on socioeconomics. There are three types of school Gymnasium (academic track), Realschule (vocational track), and Hauptschule (lower level education). They do not use examinations to determine placement. Parents and teachers decide student placement.

Rotberg, I. C. (2006). Assessment around the World. Educational Leadership, 64(3), 58-63.

Poverty In Central Appalachia

This blog post has been extremely hard to write. I thank God for having a very warm, loving, and supportive family while growing up and still now as an adult. It’s never easy to read about child stressors, but I feel especially sensitive to these sorts of travesties postpartum.

After giving this topic much thought I am choosing to write about someone I know that has a very sad history. This woman has faced many hardships and abuses, but I will focus on the ones that are pertinent to this topic. She was born and raised in Central America during a time of civil war in her country.  She lost her mother to breast cancer at a very young age and lived with an abusive father. She lived in poverty as a child and was sexually violated as a teenager. That act of violence resulted in pregnancy. This woman decided to keep the baby.

Her story is one that is wrought in abuse and does not really have a very happy ending. Granted, she is a productive person and able to function in day-to-day life. However, her experiences have left deep emotional and mental scars. She is unable to have a healthy and loving relationship with her children. Nor does she have healthy romantic relationships. She tends to be controlling with the people in her life as well as in her relationship with food. This woman is a compulsive shopper and will buy an article of clothing or shoes everyday. This is to compensate for having grown up in poverty.

She has never had a supportive network of family or friends. She has been in constant survival mode and tends to engage with most people in a way that is manipulative and with only her best interest in mind.

I choose to learn more about the poverty in Central Appalachia. In the course of my research, I have come across a fund that strives to make a difference through social change. “The Appalachian Community Fund (ACF) is a publicly supported, non-profit grantmaking organization that provides resources and support to grassroots organizations working to overcome the underlying causes of poverty and injustice. According to this website, there are very few hospitals in this region, about 20% of the population in that region live below the poverty line and there exists a monopoly on coal mines. Additionally, in a certain county, 40% of the population does not have access to clean drinking water. Socially, the people of this region are “consistently misrepresented in media”.

This organization works to mentor teenagers and help them attend college. They worked as a community to keep a nearby clinic open. They seek to keep the community safe and healthy by fighting against developments that will pollute the area and risk the health and safety of the community. They work with grantees that mobilize to change policies and systems that affect the people of Central Appalachia.

http://www.appalachiancommunityfund.org/html/success.html

Postpartum Anxiety

Postpartum anxiety does not get as much attention as postpartum depression, but it is a very real phenomenon in a new mother’s life. It is easy to discount this mental health issue because it seems normal that a new mom would worry. I remember thinking that it is normal to worry. Then I started to become more and more aware of my worries and realized that my thoughts could not possibly be normal anymore. I obsessed about how clean the baby things were getting. I would clean constantly! I started to convince myself that people were out to hurt my baby and I had to protect her. I remember thinking strange thoughts like my baby must be upset with me or not like me when she would cry and cry-as babies sometimes do. I was originally able to sleep when my baby slept, which is great and encouraged, but at about 6-8 weeks postpartum, I experienced this surge in energy but I was just not sleeping! I would stay awake most of the night and day. I don’t even remember when I would sleep. I just remember telling my husband that I just COULDN’T sleep. I won’t even get started on my obsessive “what if” thoughts that would just escalate until I was in tears and in a frenzy. My husband even started to worry about me!

I started to do some research. I was so perplexed because I didn’t feel depressed. I didn’t feel trapped or the need to run away. I didn’t feel angry with my husband, or sad, or lost or any of the feelings one reads about or hears about regarding PPD. Quite the contrary, I felt so attached and devoted to my new little family that I was on hyper drive worrying about us. My mind was just racing ALL THE TIME.

I finally spoke to my husband and a few close friends. After a couple of weeks, I started speaking with a therapist. I think that it is important to remember that even though motherhood is amazing and one of the most important roles ever, it is hard but women should not be suffering. Women need to be supported and cared for as they support and care for the new blessing in her life. I hope that having experienced this condition and still managing the emotional and hormonal fluctuations that come with pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and working outside the home, will allow me to help any new moms around me.

Surprisingly, postpartum depression and anxiety is even higher in developing countries. According to the website Wellcome Trust, an estimated 20-30% of new mothers in developing countries and they say that, “while it might seem anomalous to look at postnatal depression in developing countries, where other health problems seem so compelling, it is likely that these are precisely the places where mental health problems are likely to be at the worst – and contributing significantly to the severity of other health problems.”

http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english-1

http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-difference-between-postpartum-depression-normal-new-mom-stress?fb_ref=wp

http://www.postpartumprogress.com/6-surprising-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-and-anxiety?fb_ref=wp

http://www.wellcome.ac.uk/News/2004/Features/WTD006153.htm

Leena's Birth Day

My Water Broke!  

I got up at 4 am to go pee and I felt a lot of liquid running down my legs. I froze and then I realized that my water must have broken. I started to cry! I thought, "The baby HAS to come today!" I woke up my husband and told him my water broke. I was worried that I wouldn't start contracting because it didn't happen right away. About 4:15 or so, I started feeling what felt like period cramps. By about 5:45, I started early labor. I called the doctor's office and they told me to go straight to the maternity ward. I showered and got my stuff together. My grandma drove us to the hospital at about 8 am. 

Getting to the Hospital

My husband and I walked in and took the elevator to the 5th floor. We saw a nurse in the elevator and she was surprised that we hadn't taken a wheel chair! We checked in at the nurse's station. Soon we were in our room and my doctor came in. We talked about using an epidural and pitocin. Even though I thought I would avoid them, I decided to go ahead and use them. Actually, my doctor was kinda adament about using pitocin since my water had already broken.

Labor and Delivery

The nurse put in the hook up for IV just in case. My doctor came to check on me a few times. At around 4pm they started the IV and gave me the epidural. I was sooooo scared during the epidural. I cried! They even let my husband stay with me in the room! I thought that I wouldn't be able to move at all, but even though I felt numb and no pain (except for the IV!) I was able to move my legs! The pitocin seemed to kick in quickly. I was ready to push by 8:30 PM! Active labor was hard because I was so anxious. My long time friend, Ana came to my room at about 3 PM and stayed until after 11 PM! Leena was born at 9:18 PM. 

The pushing part was the best because I was more focused and less nervous. Ana kept reminding me not to push with my face! Good thing, too! I kept forgetting! Astar, my nurse was a great coach! She is so sweet! She taught me how to push! My doctor arrived a little before 9 and took over. Astar noticed that I had a slight temperature (99 degrees) by feeling inside me! I was so surprised that she could tell I had a fever that way that it distracted me from feeling scared about the fact that I was running a fever to begin with! After Leena was born, my temperature was 100 degrees. They gave me an antibiotic and the temperature went down a short while later, thank God!

The nurse or the doctor said that Leena sounded a little strange so they called the NICU doctors to work on her. They were only 5 feet away from me! My husband looked so scared! Ana and my husband stayed near Leena while the doctors pounded on her back and did some other things to her. In the meantime, I was delivering the placenta and getting a few stitches because I tore a little. Thank God, Leena was able to stay with us in the room instead of having to be taken to NICU. Whatever the NICU doctors did, seemed to work, thank God. 

Breastfeeding: Take One!

Ana asked the nurse if she would bring Leena over to me so that we could try breastfeeding. Leena took to breastfeeding right away, thank God! It was amazing! She sucked on the left side for about 20 minutes and then on the right for about 10 minutes. After that, Astar took her to get washed up. Ana left at about 11:30 and then my mom arrived a short while later. I got up to go pee and get cleaned up a bit. By midnight we were in the postpartum room. Wow! What a day! Thank God for everything.

Reflection

I am so grateful for the way the delivery unfolded. I researched birthing centers and drug free deliveries, but I was too anxious to follow that path. I thought that I would feel really bad about not delivering my baby more "naturally" but I am just so grateful that there weren't any serious complictions to feel bad. I was actually quite scared about delivering in the States because I had read such horrible birthing stories. I was scared about having an emergency c-section or taking the epidural. I definitely did not anticipate getting any pitocin. I was especially scared about having my preferences respected. Fortunately, the hospital I chose for delivery is very mother/baby friendly. They want to keep mom and baby together as much as possible and support breastfeeding. My baby stayed by my side from the moment she was born. They even accommodated my husband. He was changing diapers and bringing her to me for feedings from the moment she came into our world! 

I did not receive any samples of formula when we took Leena home! And they provided access to not just one, but THREE lactation consultants during our hospital stay. Not to mention a few free sessions with them as well as access to free breastfeeding support groups. 

"Typical" Dutch Births

I have a Dutch friend here in Tunisia who explained to me that births in the Netherlands occur at home whether you want them to or not! The process for having a hospital birth is a bit complicated. According to Parent's.com, "doctors only intervene in high-risk cases or if complications arise during delivery." Epidurals are dependent on the schedules of the anesthesiologist. However, they do have home care that is covered by insurance to support new mothers. Of course just like anywhere else, each birth is unique.

References:
Schalken, L. (2012). Birth Customs Around the World. Parents. Retrieved from http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/giving-birth/vaginal/birth-customs-around-the-world/.